Collection of the funnies!
by Random kitten
Summary: Warriors has just gone physco...Does Scourge love chocolate? Is silverstream really a squirrel? R
1. Scourges Weakness

Scourge's Weakness

(To all you people who think that this is going to be serious...its not)

"Scourge!" Firestar hissed in rage at the Bloodclan leader, flanks heaving up and down, blood dripping from his body.

_I've got to finish this soon! _He thought, glancing over watching the clans battle for their lives. Bone was dead, thanks to the apprentices, but so was Whitestorm...Firestar gave a quiet hiss under his breath at the loss of his former deputy.

"Don't you have any weakness?" he hissed at the small tom.

The tom just gave a malevolent smile, "And why would a cat answer that Firestar?" he hissed. "Are you stupid enough to think that I would tell you that? Or are you giving up?" he added menacingly.

Firestar growled under his breath, panting heavily. _I must protect my clan! _he thought desperately.

The clan cats at this time were getting desperate and tired too and so they all sat down.

The BloodClan cats looked at the clan cats, "Get up you lazy bums!" they hissed. "You don't _sit down _ in a battle! Are you crazy?" they hissed their toothed collars glinting.

The cats looked at the BloodClan cats, "We have the power of keeping ourselves fit!" they hissed back and somehow magically bars of Hershey milk chocolate bars came raining from the sky, and before the BloodClan cats could get them, the Clan cats got them instead.

In the meanwhile Firestar had done the same thing. He looked at Scourge, "What're you going to do now huh?" he hissed. "We can keep ourselves energized! What about you Scou.." He broke off realized Scourges eyes were now huge, pupils dialated, jaws open, drool dripping from his mouth. "Scourge?" he said again. The tom did not answer.

Firestar inched the chocolate bar to the left, Scourges eyes followed.

Firestar inched the chocolate bar to the right. So did Scourge.

Firestar picked the chocolate bar up in his tail and held it up. Scourge stould up on two paws.

Firestar then smirked. He had the key.

He picked up the chocolate bar, and threw it in the near by river. Scourge followed.

Dead silence.

Everyone stould there waiting. Waiting for Scourge to pop up and boud over to Firestar and kill him right on the spot.

Five minutes passed. No Scourge.

Thirty minutes.

An hour!

By now the cats knew what to do.

All the Bloodclan cats had the same expression as Scourge.

All the Clan cats had the same smirk as Firestar.

All the Clan cats threw their chocolate into the river and there was a stanpede of BloodClan cats following.

The Clan cats all cheered in celebration. It was over. Scourges weakness was chocolate all along.


	2. Squirrels

(sequel to the funnies!)

"And Graystripe, I want you and Brakenpaw to go on a patrol. You go along with them Fireheart, and maybe bring Cinderpaw too."

"Yes Bluestar," the two warriors replied. The wind gave a chilling blow as cats nearly froze to death at the chilling wind. Cats breathed heavily as they came in with loads of fresh-kill stocking up as much fresh-kill as they could get before leafbare truly kicked in. The winter leaves floated slowly down, covered by a small layer of snow. It was the time of year that Clans were most active to get fresh-kill and stay healthy otherwise they might starve or catch white or green cough.

Graystripe padded on, "Come on Fireheart lets just go get something now! I'm freezing…" he started to shiver and continued to grumble about how leafbare was so stupid and annoying…

"Uh…sure." Fireheart meowed and flicked his tail beckoning for Cinderpaw to follow who bounded up to Brackenpaw.

"Hey Brackenpaw!" she mewed. "Don't you _just love _leafbare?" She burst with smiles and at the word leafbare Graystripe flinched.

"Er..bad topic Cinderpaw…" Brackenpaw mewed. "And yeah sure…leafbare's great…"

The four cats padded into the woods, and listened to the silent woods. The trees bark seemed faded, and all the leaves had fallen from their branches. The cats shivered as they saw there own breath puff in front of them. Graystripe opened his mouth to let in scents, "Squirrels!" he meowed and bounded over in the direction he had scented. Brackenpaw followed his mentor but Fireheart and Cinderpaw ditched and went to party instead.

Graystripe bounded off determined to get the squirrel, forgetting all of the whole point of the patrol. He bounded and bounded on, until he had reached where the scent was most fresh.

_Somewhere here…_he thought

Then there was a russle.

He turned around to see a silver tabby, and an acorn.

He paused.

_Is this the squirrel?_ He thought complete and udderly baffled.

The she-cats eyes narrowed. "_Don't you touch my acorn!" _ she hissed.

_Yup _He thought. _A squirrel in disguise._

He leaped on the she-cat and they wrestled violently. The she-cat was fighting to save her acorn and Graystripe….we don't know.

(meanwhile Fireheart and Cinderpaw are partying!)

"Get off me you mouse-brain!" the she-cat hissed.

Graystripe for some odd reason got off.

The she-cat stroked the acorn and then placed on the ground bowed to it and whispered, "Everything's alright little acorn," and with that bounded off.

Graystripe was totally confused.


End file.
